Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to use sarcasm. By the way, I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter. With that said, welcome to my lair.
Henry David Thoreau once said, "You must not blame me if I do talk to the clouds."

Perhaps the same could be said about yours truly. There's a dash of eccentricity in me, just enough to keep me sane; a dollop of obsessive compulsiveness , just the right amount to keep me from flipping the last proverbial flip that may break the camel's back; an ounce of rage, just enough to keep the strangers who piss me off from driving me up the wall; and a bucket load of hopeless romanticism to keep it all in check. To top it all off, I'm a lover of tradition, an old soul who would have probably found a better footing in the world had I been born in the rat pack era. In this blog, I speak my mind, and say my peace, sarcasm is the name of the game and brute honesty is my forte. Don't like what you see? Navigate your cursor to the top right corner of your screen, click on the big X and see if I give a tiny rat's derriere. With all that said, welcome to my lair.

In the words of Groucho Marx, "If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."

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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Things that make you go Vadaaaaaaa....


To those of you who have been reading, I believe the time has come for me to introduce you to a word that has been coined by my dear brother. We've been using it for ages and the time has come to let the world in on it. The word in question is VADA.

It essentially means "what-the-f***" or "what-the hell" or rather "you've-got-to-be-kidding-me". It's a more polite way to say those things actually. Kinda like the hand gesture Ross (from Friends) came up with to replace giving the middle finger.

So in this post, I'll be listing down the things that will make you go Vadaaaaaa!


1. ATMs that shut downs soon as the clock strikes midnight. Like seriously? It turns into a pumpkin or something if it doesn't switch off before midnight?!?!
2. Pharmacies that are open, but puts up a sign that says "No Pharmacist On Duty". Come on! Might as well just close up, right?! And why the hell do pharmacists work less hours than other normal human beings??!! There's never one around when you need one! But hey on the bright side, with your headache playing sommersaults in your skull, you can still purchase a bottle of hair color or a bar of soap off the counter!


3. And what about clinics that close on the weekends? Is there some kind of stuff they taught these doctors when they were back in med school that people don't get sick on the weekends?! So yeah, go right ahead and work 9-5 on weekdays! And no, don't tell me I can always go to the hospital! The reason clinics exist are for people like me who hate the sight of hospitals.


4. Now this next one is a chart-topper. Over-zealous parents who create Facebook accounts for their new borns! Doesn't the fact that Facebook has an "above a certain age" clause before you can join trigger something in their little heads that maybe, just maybe, their babies DO NOT need an account just yet?! I mean seriously, what's the point in a signing up a 2-month old baby for Facebook? Starting the kid at a young age on the social networking, no holds barred world of privacy-less life on the world wide web? And post up naked pictures of their baby and think that it's cute?! Wait till the kid grows up and resents you for that!


5. How about this one? Measuring life by the number of branded handbags you have?! Hmm okay, now I have 300 Guccis and 4500 Pradas and 67 Christian Diors, oooh my life is so complete! Come on! And I am in no way jealous of those who have those handbags, wanna know why?! Coz I bought a Christian Dior in Petaling Street once for 80 bucks, and 4 out of 5 people who saw it actually thought it was an original! So there, no I don't get jealous if you blow 4000 bucks on one friggin' handbag! Too bad for those designer brands, I'm a smart cat! And by the way, if I do have enough money one day to actually blow it on those bags, it's because I just want to. Not because I feel like I've achieved something by purchasing those overpriced nonsense.
6. And this one just irks me to no end. Married ladies who are over 40, yet behave like they're 17! With their cleavages hanging out, short skirts riding up, and holding a cigarette in hand while the husbands sit next to them looking like a complete tool! Grow up, already!


7. Panty lines. Major fashion faux-pas. Major vadaaaa moment. If you wanna wear a tight skirt, or a tight white pants, please have the decency to put on a thong


8. People who are big wearing clothes that are 5 sizes smaller than their actual size! I have nothing against big people. I mean look at Adibah Noor. She's big, but she knows how to dress. You don't see bits and pieces of her hanging out all over the place. So come on, either you lose weight, or embrace your size and dress appropriately. Nobody enjoys the sight of a muffin top cropping up on your jeans, and you would expect their shirts to be long enough to cover up the muffin top but noooooooooooo the shirt seems to hang just somewhere in the middle of their tummy. Not sexy, people, not sexy!


9. This next one doesn't just make me go vadaaaa, but also makes me want to puke. Those who wear short shirts and low cut jeans and when they sit down, they love leaning forward and leaving their cracks peeping out for all the world to see! Seriously, please, people, pull up those pants!


10. Lady Gaga. Need I say more?!

1 wisecrack comments:

  1. precisely! spot on! hehe cant stand those "Aunty" that try to dress up like their daughters! puhleez! dress ur age! sometimes i wonder do they ever watch oprah! ehhehe sad that this is her last season!

    ReplyDelete

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